Tzav Sheini?

Today I got a call from Shir @ the Lishkat HaGius informing me that I have to appear sometime tomorrwo to take the "Chuliyah," the army intelligence exam. I told her that I had already taken the exam, but she told me that either way I have to show up @ 8:30 AM.

Let's see what tomorrow has in store...

Free Gaza? Free Gilad!

Why don't just take the materials from the Gaza-bound terrorist laden ships and give them to the real victims of the disengagement? The evacuees could sure use the prefabricated homes, and the concrete could be used to reinforce the bomb shelters in Sderot. The electric wheelchairs should go to injured soldiers from Cast Lead, instead of to injured terrorists.

Meanwhile we haven't seen Gilad for 1436 days and counting.

Mosque Attacks!?!

Gunmen armed with grenades attacked two mosques of a minority sect during Friday prayers in eastern Pakistan, seizing control of one mosque and battling with police, officials and witnesses said. At least 70 people were killed, and worshipers were believed held hostage.

More settler violence?

The attacks by suspected Islamist militants in Lahore city targeted the Ahmadi sect, which has experienced years of state-sanctioned discrimination and occasional attacks by radical Sunnis. It has never before been hit on such a large scale or coordinated fashion.

Tzav Rishon

So yesterday afternoon, after countless calls to Ofer, He told me that there's a 90% chance that I would have my Tzav Rishon today at 11 AM, and that he would call me at 9 AM to confirm it was taking place. Well, at 9:30 when the call didn't come through, I called Machal to find out my situation. Apparently nobody could help, and the office staff would try to reach Ofer who didn't show up at the office today. At 10:15 their response was still inconclusive so I decided to set out to the Lishkat Hagius (Recruitment Office) to try my luck. When I arrived outside of the Lishkah, I received call informing me that Ofer had sent out an email authorizing my Tzav Rishon.

So I went in and followed the receptionist's instructions to go to office 5. The people there informed me that my authorization didn't come through, and that I would have to come back another day. As I was leaving the office, getting ready for a shouting match on the phone with the people at Machal, The girl at the desk called me back and said that my email had just come through. From there I was sent to the fourth floor to Amos to receive a temporary ID number.

Amos sent me back down to the receptionist's desk to get a scanable bar-code sticker that would act as my ID card for today. But before the receptionist had a chance to process my bar-code, the 11 AM emergency siren went off as part of a nationwide drill. The entire building crammed into the second-floor lobby for about 15 minutes. By time everybody got back to their respective desks, a half-hour had passed. After waiting another few minutes I was given my temporary ID, and was sent to the third floor.
At the third floor, I scanned my bar-code into the yellow computer and waited until I was called in to give over my contact information, and I was administered a Hebrew language proficiency test. I did relatively well, especially considering I am American, and as I expected was exempt from a pre-army Ulpan. I was then sent back into the third-floor lobby to wait for an interview.

A while after scanning my bar-code into the red computer, I was taken into an interview room, and I we discussed real-life dilemmas that I encountered in the past, and how I resolved them. The woman covered he pad as she wrote down notes on my responses. When we finished, I was sent down to the Second floor.
I scanned my bar-code into the purple computer, and was called in to a lab and given a cup. I was instructed to go up to the third floor bathrooms and to fill the cup. Weird, since there was a bathroom right there in the lab, presumably for this purpose. None the less, I went upstairs and filled the cup. My journey downstairs of course was probably one of the most awkward experiences that I have gone through, carrying around a cup of urine for everyone to see in a packed building. I stared at the floor and got through it. In the lab I was told to test my own urine, which I did, and proceeded to another room where my weight, height, and blood pressure were measured.

From there I was sent to scan in at the blue computer, and waited for a visit with the doctor. Overall, my day had been pretty stressful. As good as my Hebrew is, the people in the offices were under a lot of pressure, dealing with frustrated crowds, and their patience was low. It was relieving when I was handed over to an American doctor who administered a physical (I'll spare you the details, but I have no clue how the procedures were related to my army service.) He explained that although I was clean medically, on the Height-to-Weight chart I was two pounds over, so my score was an 82, the second highest, therefore making me eligible for any combat unit, (Golani please!) I was told that when I lose the weight, I can come in and have my profile adjusted. Meanwhile I can go to anywhere but the air force, so I'm happy with my score.

Back up to the third floor, the turquoise computer. There I was given a computerized intelligence test. Most of the questions involved identifying patters. I finished that and was sent home 7 hours after my arrival.

Overall, a pretty stressful day, but I'm happy to know that my Tzav Gius (When I find out my unit) should be on its way!

More Home Demolitions! UN Site Destroyed.

The latest news in home demolitions is coming from Gaza. 25 Palestinian civilian structures were demolished last week as forces claimed they were built illegally on government land. The occupants were given 10 minutes warning before their violent eviction followed by bulldozers razing the structures. Which cruel government could have ordered the demolition of the civilian homes?

None other than Hamas.

Also, in an unrelated incident military forces destroyed an UNRWA center for summer programs for children in unprivileged areas of Gaza. This site was destroyed by none other than Gazan military forces. The United Nations promised to rebuild the camp speedily in time for summer activities.

Too bad the occupiers left Gaza! The citizens of Gaza were heard saying, "זָכַרְנוּ אֶת־הַדָּגָה אֲשֶׁר־נֹאכַל "בְּמִצְרַיִם חִנָּם אֵת הַקִּשֻּׁאִים וְאֵת הָאֲבַטִּחִים וְאֶת־הֶחָצִיר וְאֶת־הַבְּצָלִים וְאֶת־הַשּׁוּמִים׃

Thanks Ofer!

After my wonderful experience in the Misrad HaP'nim, I took all my information and faxed it to Ofer at Machal, so he could file it with the army and get back to me with my Tzav Rishon. For those of you unfamiliar with army lingo, a Tzav Rishon is a command to appear at the army draft offices for a physical, medical, and psychological profiling. Once you get profiled, you are assigned to a unit based on your capabilities. I called Ofer to confirm he recieved the fax, and he told me to wait a week and call back.
So exactly one week later I called back, and the games began. Ofer told me he had not received my details and told me to fax them again. Ok, I faxed them again, and called once again to confirm he received them. I was once again told that in a week I would get my Tzav Rishon.
So I called back today. Ofer told me that I would have to wait yet another week for an unspecified reason. I called back the main office and got Ofer's boss's cell number. When I called him, he happened to be in a meeting at the time with Ofer. He placed Ofer on the line, and Ofer explained to me that the reason for the delay was the fact that I was missing a signed letter stating that I have not been in Israel for more that one year straight. Why couldn't he tell me that when I called him?

More Arab Propoganda and Media Misrepresentation

I'm sure this isn't new to anyone here, but Maan once again took to dishonest route and published an article about alleged Jewish entrance to the al-Aqsa Mosque, but the picture next to the article portrays Chassidim who indeed would never dream of ascending the mount nowadays, during Tashlich which occurred 2 years and 8 months ago as shown by the date under the photo. The photo is taken in Tel-Aviv, not Jerusalem, and is completely unrelated to the alleged incident.

Do People in Israel Work?

No, I'm not talking about Chareidim in this post. As I become more acquainted with Israeli society it seems to me that nobody here works. Here is a small breakdown of

Discount Bank: Closed from 12:00 to 16:00, thus killing any opportunity for lunch break banking.

Misrad HaP'nim: Opened from 8:00-12:00 every day, that's a whopping 4-hour workday!

Machal (Chutznik Army Registration): 10:30-14:30, and even during those hours they are hard to reach. Furthermore, if you do reach them you have a 3 in 41 chance that they can actually help you.

Post Offices: 8:00-12:30, 15:30-16:30. Simply dreadful hours.

It's really surprising how this country gets along. Maybe one day I'll merit a nice job at one of the above offices, and work 4 days a week for 4 hours a day.

Reccomendation: Nefesh B'Nefesh should pitch, "Israel, home of the 16-Hour workweek."

Rabbit Gives Birth to Elephant, Israeli Soldiers Beat Palestinian Children

There is constant rhetoric in the Jewish world regarding the accuracy of the Palestinian press, and consequently the stories picked up by the world press. Here is a shining example, unrelated to the conflict, of what the Palestinian media tries to pass off as factual:

A 19-year-old rabbit raiser in Jenin said he was "shocked and terrified" when his newest animal gave birth to what he described as a tiny baby elephant on Sunday.

“I was concerned when I saw a black baby elephant next to nine white baby rabbits," Alawna told Ma'an, adding that the creature died only five hours after it was born. He said he was baffled as to how the elephant was produced.

The mother rabbit, Alawna explained, is a Dutch breed which he bought six months ago from a farmer in the northern West Bank village of Jaba in Jenin district.

Muhammad Alawna raises rabbits as a hobby on his small farm north of Jenin, and works construction in Israel during the week.

Paying to Join the Army?

After my arrival in Israel a few weeks ago there was a lapse in posts due to the amount of work involved in getting into the IDF.

On Monday I made it out to the Misrad HaP'nim to obtain a visa to allow me to stay in Israel for the duration of my army service. Thankfully the staff of my Yeshiva provided me with the phone number of a contact in the office, and informed me of opening hours of the Misrad, 8 AM- 12PM.

Upon arrival to the run-down excuse for an office from which the Misrad HaP'nim operates, I was directed to room 204. After a bit of difficulty finding the unmarked room, I waited on line only to find out that the employee working in 204 (who happened to be the contact the Yeshiva provided me with) began her vacation today, and that no one else would be able to help me. I went back to the receptionist to find out where to go, and her only response was to the offices in Akko.
After leaving the building calling and few friends on the phone, they told me that only persistence would get me my visa, so I turned around and went back inside the building. This time the receptionist sent me to room 208. After waiting on line again, I was abruptly informed that I had to go to room 205. Thanks! BUT... after waiting in line yet again, the person from 204 who told me I couldn't get my visa until further notice was now sitting at the desk in 205. She told me the same story again, and said the person who I need to talk to would be out for a week or two. After putting up a fight she sent me to room 206, and told me that if the people there are in a good mood, maybe they'd be willing to help me. Right. Off to room 206.
After waiting on line (how may times was that?) I was let into room 206 and spoke to one the the three women sitting at desks in the room. She proceeded to yell at me, and demanded to know who sent me to her room. After my explanation, she told me that I would have to wait until of the the other women in the room was available.
And finally, after another 20 minutes waiting, the woman at desk number 3 in room 206 allowed me to enter. Reluctantly she scoured my papers, and told me that while some of my documentation said Marc, my legal name, others said Mordechai. I was told to get a legal name change and a new passpot, or I could not get a visa. But after 2.5 hours I was not going to take no for an answer, and she finally agreed to provide me with my visa. 165 Shekels late I was on my way. No, was not not a major fiscal setback for me, but the fee combined with the general lack of assistance given at the Misrad HaP'nim is very disappointing.
If you have had a good experience at the Misrad al-Hapanim, tell me, since until now all the people who I have spoken to share stories of similar miserable experiences with me.